I have never liked sex scenes in my fiction. I’ve always been a “the fire flickered and died” kind of gal. We ALL know what happens once the fire is flickering and dying (except for one of my voice teachers, to whom I had to explain that there was a reason Jove’s “thunder” was now lying useless). I loved films like “Lawrence of Arabia”, with no female characters. All plot, no throwing in “the woman” who would usually be one dimensional and just a plot device to show some other aspect of the male lead character.
I am, as a result, terrrrrrrible at WRITING sex scenes.
My most memorable scenes are probably still moldering in a box in the basement. I did write a very innocent little romance novelette when I was about 12…it would probably still sell, though even reading it would prove embarrassing (Kristen-remember Carrie Eveningstar??). Worse still was the one I attempted to write a year later…3 sisters with a horrible mother, one became a rock star (I believe her name was Ursula), another a film star, and another a model, but I never got past the rock star one. I remember showing the sex scenes to a friend when I was in college and we both HOWLED. My mom, though embarrassed, would have then had solid proof I had no clue what goes on in the bedroom at that age. Apparently the male lead with whom the female character was having her little tete a tetecame “again and again” and there was lots of teeth gnashing (I suspect I was in my Scruples stage). It sounded more like he was having some sort of epileptic fit than sex. That’s probably still moldering in the box right along with Carrie Eveningstar. Someday my son will be going through my belongings and find it and wonder if his mother had hit the dementia stage long before owning a computer.
I stuck to non sex stuff after that. Writing 101. Stick to what you know.
However, when I got into a fiction writing class in college and actually finished a good sized novel, it seemed agreed by my teacher and allll my friends if this was going to sell, I had to throw in some sex.
So I did. It was weird, kinky, drug induced sex, but it sort of fit in. No love, It was almost like rape. My mother got a peek and was horrified, claiming I’d written porn. Ha. She should only know! And this from a woman whose home is crammed with dirty books about women having sex with demons, vampires, and dragons in human form. My family all love those dirty romance novels (except for Phyllis, in case she is reading this). I’ve just always been “eh” about that whole aspect of fiction. I remember reading or hearing about writing sex scenes and one woman said “too many breasts and thighs and it sounds like a meat market”. And how many expressive terms are there for genitalia before things just start moving into “tuna taco” territory? Yikes. I remember reading “The Lovely Bones” and it was great until…wait, how can you have a sex scene involving the main character…when she is DEAD IN THE BEGINNING OF THE BOOK??? I picture poor Alice Sebold with her editor or agent saying “Alice, it’s a great piece, but you’ve got to sex it up a bit. That whole child rape and earth thing is too much of a downer.” After a while it starts to sound like a list: Throbbing member? Check. Moans of desire? Check. Bodice ripped? Like something she’s never before experienced? Bodies fitting perfectly together? Yup I think that’s everything.
Ever notice once the main female character gets some she suddenly becomes weaker and less interesting? I have. Even in “Wicked” the book draaaaaaags once Elphaba finally has sex with her doomed lover. In soaps the couple finally has sex and gets together to live happily ever after and the plotline becomes dead. I know there is a place for sex in fiction, especially if it is one of those novels that carries on for generations…obviously no sex, no generations, unless it’s Shaker novel and even then SOMEBODY has to be getting some, somewhere.
Sigh. Back to the novel. I’ll probably finish and put the sex in later. Which, I guess…is sexual. In it’s way. And by that I mean insertion is involved, whether it fills a hole or not…
